


I Can't Get You Off My Mind!

by AnimeWatcher01



Category: Hololive, HololiveJP, Virtual Streamer Animated Characters
Genre: Alternate History, Angst with a Happy Ending, Being honest with repressed feelings, F/F, I will go down with this OTP, No betas we die like Gura in Minecraft, What if Scenario
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29858841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeWatcher01/pseuds/AnimeWatcher01
Summary: Natsuiro Matsuri considers herself to be a professional idol who can live up to her standards, but during a collab stream with Coco, one name would force herself to confront her inner feelings.
Relationships: Himemori Luna/Natsuiro Matsuri
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	I Can't Get You Off My Mind!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is just a piece of fanwork. I don't own anything to do with Hololive or its characters. All of that credit goes to Yagoo, Covercorp, and the amazing streamers there who have done much to brighten our day even though it feels like hell right now.

Today, I’m excited to be in the stream I’ve been waiting for. It’s not the Apex Vtuber Championship stream, or one of the Hololive Festivals, it’s my guest appearance on Kaichou’s reddit meme review streams. I wish I had done it sooner. We only just started, and this was one of the times where I laughed the hardest this year. 

I’m having fun reviewing these memes with Kaichou like this latest one, which is showing me and Fubuki-chan in a text conversation. The words were in English, but it wasn’t a problem because I have Coco-chan to explain what the words mean to me. 

“This… Matsuri-paisen to Fubuki-senpai. Ara?” Coco said. 

“Hmm” I said. I know this wasn’t an actual conversation between me and Fubuki-chan. I wonder how many fans of Vtubers happened to be talented graphic designers? 

“It looks like messages are being sent,” Coco said. 

“It’s because we’re in love,” I said. It seems like the obvious conclusion to me. 

“Love-love, huh? I see!” Coco said. 

“Uuh” I made a noise of approval. 

“What’s the difference between the red heart and the other heart that you’re both sending to each other?” Coco said, translating my first text message in the meme. 

“Right right right” I said in response. 

“And then, ah, this is for the friendship heart” Coco said, pointing her mouse cursor to where the blue heart is. 

“Ah, for friends right?” I asked for clarification. 

“Right. Then, this is the love heart. This is for love. Wah! That’s for love, senpai” Coco said, gesturing excitedly where the red heart is. 

“I see!” I said. 

“Ahhh! She replied back explaining what they mean!” Coco said. 

“So nice of her,” I said. That’s so Fubuki-chan, what a cute girl! 

“So nice! Then Matsuri-senpai, thanks heart, you’re welcome” Coco translated the last two text messages of the meme. 

“Heyy! Fubuki... “ I said, noticing that Fubuki sent the blue heart which meant friendship. Fubuki-chan wouldn’t be that cold to me. 

“Umm… Um. Matsuri-paisen, friendzoning is happening!” Coco said. 

“No no no no, Matsuri’s gonna marry her” I said jokingly. 

“Matsuri-paisen is married to Fubuki-paisen?” Coco said. 

“Right right right” I said, asserting my image. 

“Umm… Mmmm” Coco said, unsurely. 

“I bet whoever made this was jealous,” I said. Coco laughed at my statement. There are a lot of people who would kill to be in my position. Of course, I’m not seriously dating Fubuki, it’s just fun to tease the fans from time to time. 

“Right?!” I said, asserting my position. 

“Someone who made this is jealous, it’s just jealous, that’s what she was saying” Coco said, translating what I said into English. 

“But, umm, Matsuri-senpai..” Coco said. 

“Yes? What is it?” I asked in response. 

“The comments are saying I understand, oof, no waifu friend friends. There are a lot of umms, bruh. It looks like they’re not convinced ” Coco said as if she was an elected representative for the chat. 

“Why not?” I asked. How could they not be convinced of my marriage to Fubuki. Of course it’s not real, but still, at least they could just try and play along with it. 

Coco and I laughed at the absurdity of this situation. 

“Why not?!” I repeated jokingly, playing along into it. 

“Umm, friendzoning Matsuri? Hmm, accurate, calm” Coco said, continuing to read off from the chat. 

“Well, Matsuri has already kissed Fubuki,” I said. That fact is true. I consider myself to be a lady killer who could kiss any of the other Hololivers if I can get them into the right mood. 

“Ahh! Matsuri-paisen has already kissed Fubuki” Coco said, translating what I said to the English listeners. 

“Uh! Panic! Panic!” Coco added. 

“Panic!” I repeated what Coco already said. The word panic sounds so funny in English. This is why Coco is an entertaining kohai to collab with. 

“Panic!” Coco shouted once again. 

“It’s because everyone is above me,” I said. 

“Oh? Wait so…” Coco said. 

“I’m not being friendzoned, okay” I said. 

“Oh? This is like the distance between the ocean and the sky!” Coco said. I laughed in response. 

“This is a little…” Coco said, hovering her mouse over the text message with the blue and red heart. 

“I’m going to take the mountain,” I said. You can’t expect to win someone over if you don’t have confidence. 

“You’ve taken the mountain? So we’re not hearing the truth from Fubuki-senpai about this?” Coco asked. 

I can barely hold my gut in. If someone were to ask Fubuki-chan, she would be nice about it and say that we’re just friends. 

“You umm… Saying that with this face?” Coco said, gesturing to the face of mine used in the meme. I can’t help my pervertedness, but at least Fubuki-chan is fine with it. 

“What about Luna?” Coco asked, reading a comment from the chat. 

As if someone stopped playing the music at a rave party, my mind stopped working for a few moments. The name Luna bought me back memories, both pleasant and painful. 

“Maturi-paisen, are you ok? Did you lose your internet connection?” Coco asked. 

“Umm, no no, I’m still here. My love for Fubuki is still keeping me here”, I said automatically. 

“Hmmm, people are saying you are avoiding the question” Coco said, still reading off from the chat. 

My cheeks burned red, I wasn’t able to fool Kaichou and the chat. I need to offer a better response. “Luna-chan, I, uh, she's nice,” I said, stumbling. 

“Nice? Aren’t you being suspicious?” Coco asked. 

I was about to panic, I thought about excusing myself from the collab, but that’s below my professional standards. Then I thought of a way to save myself. “That’s not it Kaichou! I was thinking about what I’m going to say when I meet Luna next time in Minecraft. She’s not going to like seeing this conversation between me and Fubuki” I said. 

“Oh I’m sure she would understand. It’s just a meme after all” Coco said. 

“Haha! Yeah, it’s just a meme. Anyway, we’re ready to move on?” I asked, anything would be better than the topic of Luna. 

“Of course, we don’t have all day. Next meme!” Coco said, followed by me saying it, but not as excitedly this time. 

For the rest of the stream, I pushed my embarrassment to the side for the sake of enjoying the memes from the Hololive subreddit. But after the stream ended, those thoughts about Luna came back. That’s the downside of being a streamer, you can’t stream 24/7, eventually whatever you’re trying to repress will crawl back up to the surface. 

Luna… Why wasn’t I able to compare her to a little sister like I originally intended? Doesn't she fit that type of relationship? Why did the mere mention of her name parayzled me for that brief time? 

Of course I’m not stupid. I can feel the blush on my cheeks and my heart thumping against my chest. My head is filled with memories of playing with Luna. Despite her childish image, I never felt stupid for being emotionally open with her. I shook my head rashly. No, this wasn’t what I had in mind. I was supposed to not have serious feelings for anyone I was working with in Hololive. 

Shit, I’m actually in love with Himemori Luna. 

I sank into my chair. How could this be? I thought I had kept my distance from her so this wouldn’t have happened… We are coworkers in the same company, this wasn’t what I wanted… 

I breathed a sigh of relief on not having any streams for the day. The only work I have is a meeting with my manager, but that isn’t until a couple of hours, so I have a little time to think it over my dilemma.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was in my bedroom late at night, I wasn’t able to sleep so I did a Twitcast to pass the time. I did a meditation beforehand to make sure I don’t leak anything about my weird behaviour during Kaichou’s behaviour. It’s not like I know that some of the fans would be understanding, but I don’t want myself to be as vulnerable as I was when it came to Hoshikawa-chan. 

I was about to go to sleep when my phone rang. It was Luna. I smiled, but then frowned. Should I pick it up? It would be tempting to reject it, but this could make things more awkward between us, and I can’t just walk back on the amount of progress we made as much as I wish we could. 

“Hello, Luna. Can’t you get to sleep” I said, teasing her. 

“I can sleep fine. How are you doing, Matsuricha-senpai?” Luna asked. 

“I’m doing fine,” I answered, trying to keep my voice as neutral as I can, and not let Luna on the fact I now have a huge grin on my face. 

“You wouldn’t believe the amount of tweets I've been getting since yesterday-nanora. Hey Luna, have you seen Matsuricha-senpai say this about you-nanora” Luna said, probably reading off the tweets on her twitter. 

“Have you seen Kaichou’s recent meme review stream featuring me?” I asked. 

“Only the part that has been clipped about Kaichou mentioning me” Luna said. 

“That’s because someone from the chat had brought you up. Wasn’t that considered rude because the meme was only featuring me and Fubuki” I said. 

“What I found more interesting was that you didn’t directly answer the question about me-nanora” Luna said. 

Crap! For a self proclaimed baby, Luna was too perceptive about this. “True, it just took me a while to think of something funny to say” I said. 

“You did stumble there for a moment, like you weren’t able to say what you were intending to say” Luna said. 

“How could you possibly get that from watching a clip?” I asked. 

“Because I answered an intimate question like that before,” Luna said. 

Did she really? There might have been a circumstance like that on some other stream. I have a lingering curiosity to find out if it’s anything to do with me, but I’ll ask about that on another day. “I can’t seem to hide anything from you,” I said, admitting my defeat. 

“I don’t like to see you hiding stuff from me. I worry about you” Luna said. 

I bit my lip, tears were building up in my eyes. No, no, I won’t let Luna influence me like this. “Thank you, but I promise I’m doing fine,” I said, ignoring the critical self-inflicted wound I gave myself. 

“If you don’t want to say anything to me, you could say it to one of the other Hololivers, your management, or your family-nanora” Luna said. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep that in mind” I said. 

“There’s one thing I called you to say-nanora” Luna said. 

“What would that be?” I said, nothing mattered more to me than hearing what Luna had to say. 

“I appreciate that you were considering my feelings-nanora” Luna said. 

“I had to make up for you not being pleased with the amount of flirting I do with the other girls” I said. 

“That’s a start. Though, there is something about that attitude that is alluring-nanora” Luna said. 

“Oooh, are you into bad girls? You're not as innocent as you look” I said, nearly about to laugh.

“That was your assumption. But you were close to breaking my character multiple times-nanora” Luna said. 

“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” I said with a smirk. It was like my tears hadn’t existed. I don’t know how Luna could bring my mood to an 180. 

Luna giggled. “That’s the Matsuri I love,” Luna said. 

“Ehh?! Love?!” I said. I was lucky I wasn’t living with my family, otherwise my mum would have come to my room to see what had gotten me excited. 

“Is that too on the nose-nanora?” Luna said. 

“Yeahhh, you know me too well by now!” I said, shaking my head in disbelief. 

Luna giggled again. “There’s no going back now. I…” there was a silence on the phone. 

“Luna, are you still there?” I asked, concerned if her internet connection hasn’t dropped off. 

“I’m still here, I was feeling nervous all of a sudden” Luna said. 

“Good thing I’m not the only one here who is nervous” I said. 

“There’s no avoiding it then,” Luna said. 

“Luna… I don’t want to talk about this” I said. There goes my mood.

“You’re only hurting yourself. I’m sorry, but there has to be a reason why you haven’t hung up yet” Luna said. 

I sighed. “This is what I was talking about. Luna, do you really want me to say it” I said. 

“I would like to know-nanora,” Luna said. 

“I… I’m in love with you, and I hate myself for that,” I said. 

There was a silence. I feared that Luna was going to cry because of my self hatred. “Does it have to do with Hoshikawa-san?” Luna asked. Her voice doesn’t sound like its usual high pitched tone, it almost sounded as normal for a woman her actual age. 

“Partly, that was only the first reason,” I said. 

“What do you mean by that?” Luna asked. 

I breathed in and out. This was taking a lot out of me by being honest to myself. “I had a lot of time to self reflect. I think in the beginning, the reason that you got into my heart was because you filled in the void I felt from Hoshikawa-chan rejecting me” I explained. 

“That’s true. Though, from my understanding, you didn’t see me more than just a cute kohai at the time” Luna said. 

“Precisely. I’m one of the Vtubers who whenever there’s a new generation of Hololivers, I make sure they’re comfortable cause I know what it was like to be in a new generation and not knowing what to do” I said. 

“Thank you for being there by the way. I wouldn’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have your guidance back then” Luna said. 

My heartbeat skipped a beat from her compliment. Luna can’t keep getting away with playing with my heart! I cleared my throat to stop myself from getting over emotional. “It’s what any reliable senpai would have done. Anyway, I thought I would help you get comfortable and then move on. But I enjoyed my time with you, admittedly more than the other Hololivers, not that there’s anything wrong with them” I said. 

“I’m surprised, couldn’t imagine I would be worth more of your time then Fubuki-senpai” Luna said. 

“That’s fine, Fubuki wasn’t paying me any special attention, so I moved on too” I said. 

“I’m wondering what made you fall in love with me?” Luna asked. 

“It could be any reason. You having the sweetest laugh, your sense of humor. I think it’s just because I feel comfortable around you” I said. 

“That’s a good reason to be in love with someone,” Luna said. 

“That’s my current theory, I’ll find out the real reason one day” I said. 

“It doesn’t have to be only one reason. There can be multiple reasons” Luna said. 

“What sealed the deal was in the week before your first 3D stream. I was surprised when I became overly emotional at how far you had come. It was the first visible sight at how attached I was to you” I said. 

“That brings me back! I was surprised too, it nearly made me cry as well” Luna said. 

“Then when you gave the gift of matching pajamas for my birthday, I was overwhelmed with how much you meant to me” I said. 

“That leaves us to where you tried to distance yourself” Luna said. 

“I would say that didn’t work out too well for me. It turns out going against my heart made iit worse on myself, not to mention other people noticed it” I said. 

“So where do we go now?” Luna said. 

“Luna, I can’t tell if you share the same feelings for me, or if you view us as good friends. I need to know now for the sake of my heart!” I said. 

“Matsuri, I can’t tell you how many times you have frustrated me with you flirting with other girls” Luna said. 

My heart sunk at Luna’s words. This is it for me. I went and ruined another potential relationship. 

“However, you always made it up to me by being so sweet, I can’t stay mad at you” Luna said. 

“Does that mean what I think it means?” I asked, my heartbeat started to spike. 

“People would call me crazy for saying this, but Matsuri, you’re the girl who stole my heart. If it’s possible, can we get to know each other more and date each other” Luna said. 

“Yes yes, Yes! Luna you have no idea how happy this makes me. I promise I won’t simp for anyone besides you” I said excitedly. 

There was the sound of giggles over the phone, my heart sang from its melody. “Hold on Matsuri, I’m not going to let you act out of character. It’s ok, I don’t mind. It’s like with Korone-chan and Okayu-chan. We know who’s heart belonged to who-nanora” Luna said. 

“If you say so. It’s going to take some time for me to get used to dating you, do you mind if we take it slow for the first couple of months?” I asked. 

“That’s fine with me. We’re going to be busy preparing for the next Hololive festival, so we’ll have plenty of time to catch up after that-nanora” Luna said. 

“We’ll need to discuss what we’re going to do offline. Oh, if it’s possible, we could convince both of our managers to let us collab more often. I think it’ll help boost your channel” I said. 

“Don’t worry, my channel is doing fine and is growing at a good pace. Matsuri, are you going to be ok now?” Luna asked. 

“I should be fine now,” I said, tears gushing out and I started crying. 

“Matsuri!!” Luna called out, panicked. 

“It’s ok, I’m just so happy, all my repressed emotions came out” I said despite my body shaking from all of my tears. 

“I wish I was there to help you. I’ll meet you as soon as I can” Luna said. 

“Don’t rush yourself, I need a good cry after all this time” I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. I can barely hold in my composure. How else could I expect to do so? I had nearly screwed myself from possibly a lifetime of happiness? Was it because of my pride as a Vtuber? Or did I not want to get too attached to someone in case they broke my heart? 

Luna couldn’t hold back from yawning. “It’s getting late. I need to go to sleep for my stream tomorrow. Matsuri, I hope you know that you can be honest with me. I promise I’ll try my best to be the partner you can rely on-nanora” Luna said. 

“I’ll make sure to do the same. I love you Luna, shit, that actually felt so good to say!” I said, laughing my ass off. 

“Now that I got this whole love thing off my chest, I feel tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, and we can sort out a date we can meet up” I said. 

“I love you too Matsuri! I’ll talk to you tomorrow after the stream” Luna said, hanging up.

I laid down on the bed, eyes still open. The bedroom doesn’t seem as dark as before, and I felt lighter than ever. Is this what it’s like to be in love with someone? Better yet, to not feel like you have to hold yourself back from meditating on what it means to be in love with that person. 

I used one of my hands to feel where my heart is. I can feel my heartbeat pump at a smooth rate, not anxiety inducing like it was a few hours ago. My eyes closed on its own. I think it’s time for me to get some sleep, I need to be my best for my new girlfriend!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the core of what I wanted to write about the FestivaLuna ship, and it's better late then ever. I wish I had a few more years of experience so the emotions would be more richer and intimate, but that's unnecessary perfectionistic because I'm happy I was able to write this oneshot at this point as a writer. 
> 
> I hope I'll have more ideas to write about Matsuri and Luna being cute and gay together. I'm sure the ideas will come to me in time, maybe an idea for a longer story would suffice.


End file.
